I got the news that my brother had passed away this past March. The news was shocking as it was a sudden and unexpectant death. He had a car accident and the doctors were unable to save his life. First the shock. I stayed in shock for a week or so. The news was hard to wrap my brain around. I couldn’t grasp the fact that my little brother was no longer alive, yet others were saying it was so.
The Worst is Over
At the first week, the news began to settle. Definitely, by the second week, I felt the grief finally hit the strongest. I cried many tears and spend hours sobbing with my Bible, asking the Lord why? Also asking Him how long it was going to hurt. It hurt badly for longer than I would have wished, but with godly counsel and the Perfect Counselor Himself, I was able to accept it and rest in God. I had little moments of sadness when reminded, but was okay for the most part. I thought the hardest part of the grief had passed.
The Worst Was Not Over
Three months later, everyone goes on a mission trip and I have the house to myself for a week. I then randomly got a call from a family member giving me more specifics surrounding my brother's death; details about his injuries and other things that were not told to me until that call. I immediately broke down and was hit with raw emotions all over again. I cried, and told God I couldn’t do it, it was too hard to bear.
Approaching Like a Child
This was exactly what I should have done. When we are hurting, we sometimes have the tendency to either pretend it is not there (denial) or try to deal with it ourselves (pride). We are not able to actually deal with it on our own, and we don’t have to. We have strong Father that can carry us when we can’t lift our heads. I cried out to Him like a little child. Not many words, but enough to express what was in my heart. He invites you to do the same.
and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
The hardest part was that I was ‘alone.’ I believe many find themselves in that place. Whatever sorrow or hardship it maybe for you, loneliness is a tough emotion to face. My house was empty and it was just me on my floor. I am an introvert, but all I wanted in that moment was someone to be with me. I just wanted a hug, a physical touch, and a physical presence. I would have called a trusted friend, but again either they were on mission trips or with a baby. Not kidding, suddenly all of my friends had babies at the same time!!
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
2 Corinthians 1:3
I believe that the Lord orchestrates all things, and that night was no exception. Sometimes God will allow us the uncomfortable feeling of loneliness so that we can know His universal presence personally. I was not alone that night. The truth is that we are never alone.
We are just so used to focusing on the physical world, that we neglect the spiritual. They both exist, one we can see, touch, taste, feel and hear. The other is seen by faith. God was teaching me a lesson on focusing on what I could not see and finding comfort in that. This is a lesson we should all learn! God should be sufficient for us when all we have is Him. He comforts better than any human can! Mrs. Spurgeon (Charles Spurgeon’s wife) said,
“Human comforters we may have had, and we blessed them for their kindness; but none can comfort like Thee, for Thou art ‘the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort."
An Invitation of Fellowship
I found it to be true that night. There was no human comforter, but I had my heavenly Father and the comfort of the Holy Spirit, who leads us into all truth. He reminds us of truths we have forgotten. Through that hard time, God gave me the opportunity to sit with Him and have a vulnerable fellowship. The valleys in the Christian's life is often where we grow closer to God the most.
My Best Friend
I found Christ to be my friend. ‘What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins, and GRIEFS to bear. What a privilege to carry, EVERYTHING to God in prayer. Those are not just pretty poetic words. They are true! When we bring our pains to him in hard trials, we can experience the peace we often forfeit when we don’t bring our cares to Him. We should go to Him often and unload our burdens. There is true rest there.
He Cannot Lie
When we feel alone in our pain, the promise of all things working for our good (even ‘those’ things you may be thinking about while reading this) are true. He alone can give what we need.
He is the Fullness of What We Need
He is our Father. A good father does not intend to hurt his child. He is our friend as I said, a friend bears our burdens. He is our great Physician. A doctor works on the wound, and even though the working and the fixing is painful and may seem unbearable, he is there for our greater good...which is the healing that comes after the pain. He will give no more pain than necessary for our healing. Christ is our Bridegroom. A husband protects his bride from danger and loves her with a steadfast love.
We are Never Alone
This is Who we have with us in our hurting moments. This is Who I had when the house was empty. Though I wanted a physical presence, which was not a bad desire, I had the fullness of God in the room with me and He was enough. He will always be enough for us! All we have to do is take our eyes off of what we don’t have physically and turn to the abundance we have spiritually by faith. When we do this, we will realize He is always with us!
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