There is something encouraging in knowing we are not alone. I usually post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I am a schedule kind of girl. Those days work well for me. However, I have felt like I haven’t known what to write about for Friday.
So here I am on Thursday writing this. Today, during a rough moment, the fact that God is my Shepherd was made so clear to me. It was comforting! He reminded me I was not by myself.
I feel as though I have mentioned the fact that I have PTSD, from childhood trauma, in several posts. This is just where I am right now, so it shows up in my writing. Because of child abuse, my body has seizures that are usually controlled by medicine.
I see a Christian Counselor once a week, which is ironic because I am currently getting my masters in Biblical Counseling! The sessions have gotten harder. The questions have gotten more and more specific. My ‘leaning’ on Christ have progressed to ‘clinging tightly.’
As I said, I have just been at a standstill on what to write about until a couple of hours ago. I had a normal counseling appointment and once I got home, I had my first seizure in months. Afterward, I laid on the floor in tears asking God when He was going to make these go away.
When was He going to make the effects of my past go away? When are theses seizures going to stop? When will I stop having to take a hand full of pills every day and night for this PTSD, that I don't want? Then I, in the middle of my questioning, was reminded of a sentence that has become very precious to me. “He understands!”
Those words were refreshing, as I was still on the floor recovering from the seizure. It was then that I realized, anybody can be encouraged with knowing they are not alone. Not only that, God understands!
Jesus might not have had childhood trauma, but He had the cross. He might not have had seizures, but He witnessed them, healed people from them, and saw the struggle. I don’t know your specifics, but He understands them. He sympathizes with us in our weaknesses. He will never forsake you!
What you can’t even put into words, He understands! What you can’t say to others, He understands! That brings such relief! He knows! He knows what you are going to ask before you open your mouth to form the words. He is well acquainted with your ways (Psalm 139). Really meditate on the fact that He understands your heart’s pain.
‘The Lord is my shepherd’ (Psalm 23) also came to mind, as I was lying in the middle of the floor. Oh, how thankful I am for this! Do you know that He is with you now? Your Shepherd is leading you! It might not make any sense to you, but the One who is leading is all-wise!
He will not let you be in real need without supplying. He will still your soul and feed you. He will care for you, even when that care involves cleaning out a nasty wound. He is more concerned about getting to that infection, than the amount of pain you may feel in the process.
Many people “know” God is a person and can be known. We say this because the Bible says it and because we know it to be true in our minds. What about the heart? Do you believe God is knowable? Are you trying to love an ideal? God is really actually knowable, just as much as we know others.
We communicate with our 5 senses here on earth. There also is a spiritual world. We are receptive to it by our faith. We communicate with God by faith. We are so prone to forget there is a spiritual world going on simultaneously with this one.
I have been learning that, if I can stay, having my heart set on Christ, looking at God through faith, there is a comfort. If you do so, you will be encouraged that His eye is always on you, even when you are not aware of it. He sees you! I so hope He will whisper this to you in a way that only He can.
I know this was a different kind of post than is normal for me. However, I felt led to share. We are all walking down this narrow road, and all of us hit rocks and skin our knees. Some of us, like myself, fall flat on our faces as we travel.
Still, your Shepherd is walking before you. He has His rod of protection. He will lead you to green pastures, He will give you water to drink. Don’t forget where He is leading you. Our destination is to be with Him, forever. That is our inheritance from the sacrifice of Christ (Ephesians 1:14). He will take care of His own.
This is what Our Father reminded me of when lying on the floor after my seizure. What sweet truths to be reminded of our Father King, “He understands!
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